13. Decoding Male Desires: Beyond the Surface Attraction

Surface attraction

At the surface, what males want is sex. A male looks at a beautiful female and is attracted. Physical features. The energy she gives off. Whether she is cute. How she dresses. How she smells. Those are surface desires for sex.

Many males will deny it. Show them someone they consider unattractive. The desire to court her disappears. There is no sexual pull behind it.

He can look at her as a friend. He can ask for her opinion. He can be kind. As a partner, the desire disappears when there is no sexual attraction.

What he wants

A male does not actually want sex. He wants what that desire is pointing to.

The desire for sex tells him this is someone he could enjoy getting to know. Sex is that exploration in physical form. To explore, he sets the desire for sex aside and takes an interest in the person.

What he wants is the feeling of being a male. The feeling of power. A sense of masculinity. Only a woman can give him this.

In dating he sets the desire for sex aside. He puts that motivation into getting to know her. He wants to know her well enough that the pleasure of knowing her is greater than sex. He learns what she wants. He gives her that. They build experiences together. The relationship grows deeper.

She hears a clear message. Here is a male who is interested in her. She can trust him. She can rely on him. He is in control of his own desires. Maybe he can be in control of hers.

Months down the road, when they are ready for sex, the closeness of that experience is far beyond anything purely physical.