14. Masters of Desire: Embracing Masculinity Beyond the Physical

Master of his nature

What a man really wants is to be master of his own nature. Nature gave him certain qualities and a direction. When he begins to see that direction, he becomes more attractive than any other man, whatever he looks like and whatever work he does. He is on the path of embracing his nature.

Embracing his nature means sex is not the end goal. The basic desire is just: I want sex. It feels good. After he has it, he is empty. He cannot wait for the next time.

If he brings that hunger into a relationship, it puts her off. He is showing her that he needs her for a temporary desire. He will take her out. He will play along. He will do what it takes to get it. That desire for sex does not satisfy him. It does not satisfy her. Each time he acts from that little desire, he feels worse than the time before.

Master of his desire

A man who masters his desire still wants sex. He uses the motivation of his desire for sex to invest in the relationship.

He has a woman in front of him. He takes her out. The date does not have to be fancy. He does not have to spend lots of money. They sit down. They have a cup of coffee. He asks questions. He gets to know the person in front of him.

What he wants is to know her. He wants a woman he enjoys serving. Before sex is even considered, he wants to give her what she wants. He learns what she wants, what interests her, what moves her, and what she lives with. They explore those desires together.

That lifts how he feels about himself. She gives him the sense that he can do anything. He can take on anything. This is the feeling he wants.

A sexual conquest is temporary. He wants a true woman who will help him become a true man.