16. Mastering the Art of Authentic Connection

What to talk about

People often do not know what to talk about on a date. They try to be impressive. They are not being themselves. They may not like themselves fully. They may think that if the other person knew some things right away, that person would judge them. So they put their best foot forward. They talk about themselves. Or they play the wonderful listener.

A woman can do this by not speaking. She listens to everything he has to say. She wants to show him that she likes him. She may not feel worthy of his attention, so she gives him attention instead. Men enjoy being shown that.

She still does not know if he likes her for her, or only because she likes him.

The first few dates

The first few dates are for finding out if he likes her for her, or only because she likes him. Does she feel good listening while he talks about himself? Does he feel good listening while she talks about herself?

If she does not feel good, she is only listening to show she likes him. If he does not feel good, he is not actually interested in who she is.